do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize