this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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