You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
