I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
