ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
