is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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