Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
worst night to have a conscience
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
