Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
