I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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