Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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