THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
