and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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