Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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