I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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