she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
