i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
