Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
