When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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