I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
