I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
