I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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