He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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