I wannas sexs uuuuu
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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