I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
