don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
