already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
