i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
