Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
