I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
