I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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