it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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