Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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