didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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