I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
