Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
