she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
