Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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