wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
