oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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