I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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