I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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