Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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