How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You made out with two different species that night
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize