We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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