She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
