Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
