Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
