needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
