we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My dick has a subreddit
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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