how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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