i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
