Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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