I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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