im having a threesome with these popsicles
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
