Your tits are I can't wait for
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
