ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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