I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
