Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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