you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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