That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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