if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
