either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want to make out with him forever
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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