Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
