Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize