I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
