Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
