her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
