Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
