Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
