It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
