I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
