I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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