It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
