i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
