I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
